Wednesday, September 28, 2011

What Music Is To Me

“I will sing to the Lord,
For He has triumphed gloriously!
The horse and its rider
He has thrown into the sea!
The Lord is my strength and song,
And He has become my salvation;
He is my God, and I will praise Him;
My father’s God, and I will exalt Him."
Exodus 15:1-8

       Music. Music seems to be one of the biggest and most important part of my life as a person. I can't play
any kind of musical instruments, but I can sing. In my opinion, it's been given by God to us, people, not just
for entertainment but for spiritual purposes. Music, as a matter of fact, is not for us but for God. Moreover, God is our music.
     Why am I talking about music, anyway? Well, as a Christian who sings in church, I perceive music as God's own element, and I am persuaded that we are gifted with music and singing abilities solely for His glory. However, I was not this opinionated about music when I was a child. I was into music because I relish producing sound through natural means (vocal means). If you will just allow me to borrow your time, I will be glad to tell you something about my life as a friend of music.
      As a child in my fifth, sixth, and seventh years of existence, I thought of music as a mere entertainment and nothing more. I thought songs are made only to make people happy and intended only to be sung. I had been so freak about songs that I loved the impossible idea of memorizing all the songs of the world, excluding rock ones. The genres of songs that I was crazy for were ballad, classical, country, and pop. Whenever my Papa made his purchased CD's play, I would be joyful to take hold of the microphone and sing the songs being played. I showed no shame when I sang songs in front of my family, but I wouldn't be asked to sing in front of other people.
      Because I liked to sing so much, my Aunt Nonie, who was also a singer, often asked me sincerely to sing together with her. She would always request that I take over the microphone to express myself. Being a diffident child, I refused to sing with her several times, bu there were a precious few times I submitted to her insistence and sang along with her.
     When I went to high school, my relationship with singing started to desiccate. I listened to music, but I didn't thought of singing them. I didn't exercise my singing voice, and lack of passion for singing took it's toll on me; I notice that my voice stagnated and didn't improve. This is the Ice Age of singing in my life. Music was lifeless and paltry. I'd gone frigid even to releasing any melodic syllable out of my lips.
     In my sophomore year, I didn't know how singing hitched me into itself anew. I noticed that my singing voice worsened and I couldn't even reach high pitches anymore. Nevertheless, I began to sing again even without planning to improve my voice again.
     In my junior and senior years, I continued to sing popular songs and also old-fashioned songs with nobody else to hear me. It is obvious that my love for music has been rekindled. In this period, I was also included in our church's trainees for VIA (Voices in Adoration). The music team of the church observed me as I sing. Their eyes were making me soften my voice and improperly project my voice. I began to harbor insecurities about myself and came on the verge of asking myself: Can I do it?
     Shyness is my supreme enemy. The devil always whispered that I couldn't do it, and I couldn't resist his lies. Whenever I get into singing in front of observers, a paroxysm of shyness would come. Because of this recurrent attack of doubts, I decided to stop joining the trainings. I lost my hope.
      Long time passed and I was asked to come to a retreat coordinated by our church. I accepted the invitation then. The retreat and God's revelation have done so much powerful change to me. I learned to place my fears on the ground and trample them, but I admit not all my shyness has been subdued.
        The account of my past ends here. I am now included in our music team as a back-up singer. This blog is not all about
        If I was addicted to popular songs before, I am now addicted to songs for God after the change in me began. From pop, country, classical, and ballad music, I switched to songs which brings God delight and honor. If in my childhood days my perception of music is nothing but entertainment, I now see music as an offering to our God in heaven.
         During spare hours, I sing gospel songs. My lips seem to have their spontaneity to sing songs for God, and I am grateful that singing His songs has been my habit. It is good to know that I am not the only one who enjoys when I sing. It gives me more motivation to continue on making melodies when I remember that God sees me and hears me. Thanks to King David and Jubal, music has been applicable to worshiping God. Every word sung becomes a sweet aroma that ascends to the throne of God above. Every psalm sung becomes a faithful prayer to Him.
          Even though I am still here on earth, I always feel as if I were already an angel when I raise my voice for God's glory. I know that He listens to me and embraces me.
          God has bestowed on me the power to sing, so why not use it for His glory? He reminds me that this voice I have is purposed to lift His name on high. I sang for myself before, but I sing now for Him alone. Music is not my entertainment. It's God's. I know that when I sing, I savor the songs, and so does God. Although I have so many flaws in singing, God doesn't restrict His focus in them but in my heart.
            If I say music is my life, I will be nothing. God is my life, and He is the reason I sing. It's not the songs that make me whole. It's God Himself, the Author of music, that completes me.